Overprotecting a teenager can be detrimental to their development: Here's why
Written by Rachel de Barros Oliveira, Ph.D. Candidate McGill University
In our last post, we talk about how to recognize if you are an overprotective parent (click here to read it). Now let’s understand how scientist measure that.
Overprotective parenting is usually measured by a questionnaire that is filled out by parents themselves or by the child (for adolescents). I will give a few examples:
In 1995 Shonkoff and collaborators used a Parent Protection Scale (PPS) to measure the overprotection of parents of children aged 2 to 5 years. With 27 items, the PPS was scored by parents between 0 and 3 ( 0 – never; 1 – sometimes; 2 – most of the time; 3 – Always). Some of the items in the PPS include:
I blame myself when my child gets hurt
I encourage my child to depend on me
I urge my child to try new things
I encourage my child to play with other children
I dress my child even if he/she can do it alone
I allow my child to do things on his/her own
Protective parenting happens at any age, although it is expected to decrease as the child grows older and becomes more autonomous. This is one of the reasons why overprotective behaviors are more prominent and harmful during adolescence and early adulthood. It can impact a child's self-esteem, social acceptance, and even competence in independent activities (like academic performance).
When our kids are small, they don’t perceive danger the same way we do. We are constantly having to protect them from real danger. With time, they learn that fire will burn and that we can’t fly like superman.
Growing up is the most beautiful and terrifying part for almost every parent. In the same way that now they understand that we can’t fly, they also understand a lot more about the world, and every day they want and need more independence.
In 2021, Soenens and collaborators published a study on how adolescents cope with overprotective parenting from fathers and mothers. Using different types of questions scored on a 5-point Likert scale, ranging from 1 (completely untrue) to 5 (completely true), they measure:
Overprotective parenting (my mother/father immediately notices danger when I want to do something new; intervenes with things I could solve myself; treats me like a small child).
Psychological need frustration (where adolescents reported their general experiences in life like: “I feel forced to do many things that I do not want to do; I feel excluded from the group I want to be a part of; I feel insecure about what I can do”).
Aggression (adolescents were asked to report on how they interact with others (for example I am mean to others; When I am mad to others I try to exclude them).
Internalizing distress – here they reported on the feelings they experience in the past week (I felt depressed; I was worried).
Coping responses – here they answer how they dealt with overprotective parenting (“I do the exact opposite of what my parents told me to do.” - oppositional defiance; “I anxiously do what my parents want me to do.” - compulsive compliance; “I explain why I do not agree with their advice or help.” – negotiation; “I try to understand that my parents mean well.” - accommodation).
Researchers found that parental overprotection was related to more need frustration, which was related to more internalizing distress and aggression.
Regarding the coping mechanism, they found that adolescents with overprotective parents tend to have more compulsive compliance behaviors and that this coping mechanism exacerbates the overprotection problem.
Do you think you give your child appropriate independence for their age? Do you know how you can do that? Stay tuned for our next post with tips on how to avoid being overprotective.
Check out the third part of the series here.