Depression is a topic that many parents might find difficult to talk about, especially when it comes to understanding how it affects their loved ones—or even themselves. Yet, recognizing the signs and knowing how depression can differ between men and women is key to fostering a supportive environment at home. In this article, we’ll explore what depression is, how it manifests differently in men and women, and what steps you can take to help yourself or someone you care about. By learning more, you’re taking an important step toward breaking the stigma and building awareness.
What is depression?
Depression is a clinical diagnosis given after people experience at least 5 of the symptoms on this list, for at least 2 weeks (all day, nearly every day):
- Depressed mood
- Loss of interest or pleasure in activities (that were once pleasurable)
- Weight change
- Not being able to sleep or sleeping too much
- Moving more or slower than usual as observed by others
- Low energy or fatigue
- Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
- Decreased concentration
- Thoughts of death or suicide
You can take a quiz here to see how you’re doing, but please remember that this is not a diagnosis. We urge you to speak to your healthcare professional if you meet the criteria for depression: https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/10195/dsm-5-criteria-major-depressive-disorder
If you’ve ever experienced depression, or been around someone that has, you know that it’s not just feeling sad or low when things go wrong (argument with partner or child gets sick). Depression can significantly impact someone’s daily functioning and routine.
Globally, around 5% of adults suffer from depression. Interestingly,there are twice as many women diagnosed with depression than men. Researchers all over the world are trying to better understand why this is. Labs are studying whether there are differences in biology that lead to these numbers, or whether it depends on how society impacts women and men differently. Generally, the consensus is that it’s a mix of both made more complicated by the fact that women are more likely to seek treatment and get the diagnosis.
Research shows that women are more likely to seek treatment for mild-moderate depression, while men are underdiagnosed in this category. Interestingly, when you compare men and women with severe depression the rates are more equal. This suggests that men are waiting longer, waiting until their symptoms are more severe, to reach out for help.
How does depression manifest differently in men vs women?
Depression is experienced by each person differently, as you can see by the list of symptoms that are highlighted above (for example, one person can experience weight gain while another experiences weight loss). Another possible reason more women than men receive a depression diagnosis is because the symptoms we use to diagnose depression are more typical of a woman’s experience of depression, so depression in men can be left unrecognized.
Table adapted from Dr. Jed Diamond’s Book Male Menopause
What are some signs of depression in men?
Here is a list of some symptoms of depression that are more often experienced by men than women:
- being more irritable or easily frustrated than usual
- feeling or acting more violent
- drinking more or increasing the use of other substances
- more complaints about physical health, including backaches, headaches, sexual dysfunction, stomach problems, which don’t improve with normal treatment
- feeling distant from family and friends
- loss of interest in sex
The effects and consequences of untreated depression:
Depression left untreated (in men or women) can have serious consequences. It can ruin relationships with partners, children, family and coworkers, which reduces the amount of support the person has causing isolation. Untreated depression can also lead to physical health problems.
The most serious outcome of untreated depression is suicide. Although women are diagnosed more with depression, and attempt suicide at higher rates, men are 3x more likely to die by suicide.
What can help with depression?
This all sounds scary, and it is, but, more than 80% of people with clinical depression can be successfully treated once diagnosed. Moreover, higher suicide rates are associated with lower treatment rates, meaning that seeking treatment can be helpful for a lot of people. There are different forms of treatment available that include talk therapy, medications and lifestyle changes.
If you or someone you know are suffering from depression, please consider reaching out for help. Here are some resources:
- Call “988” in Canada and USA for suicide
- HeadsupGuys for men : https://headsupguys.org/
- Buddy Up – Men’s suicide prevention through communication: https://www.buddyup.ca/about/
This article was written in collaboration with the Da Costa Lab that researches parents’ well-being during the transition to parenthood.
Q&A from expert Dr. Deborah Da Costa:
Curious Neuron: What are some key findings from your research studies that you wish all new dads knew about regarding their mental health?
Dr. Da Costa:Our studies have found that approximately 14% of fathers experience depressive symptoms within 6 months after their baby is born. For many, depressive symptoms start during their partner’s pregnancy and increases the risk of experiencing depression into the postpartum period. Support from your partner and family and friends can reduce the risk of experiencing depression. It’s important to express how your feeling with trusted others and seek support if symptoms are persisting.
Curious Neuron: How do societal expectations of masculinity (especially around emotions or mental health) affect the way men experience and express depression?
Dr. Da Costa: Societal expectations of masculinity play an important role in how men express and cope with depression. Traditional gender stereotypes around masculinity expect men to be strong, emotionally resilient and in control which makes it difficult for men to discuss their emotions openly and seek out help. Some men when experiencing depression may feel shame that they are not measuring up to these traditional masculinity norms which can result in social isolation and loneliness. Men are more likely to seek and engage with mental health interventions that use a gender lens in its program approach and content.
Curious Neuron: How can partners and family members support a father who is struggling with several of the above mentioned signs of depression (yet does not have a diagnosis) without feeling like they’re overstepping?
Dr. Da Costa: Firstly, it’s important not to dismiss how they are feeling as “normal” adjustments to the transition to parenthood. Dads need to know that depression during their partner’s pregnancy and/or after the baby is born is common and treatable. Encourage the father to discuss how they are feeling with their doctor or a mental health professional. Providing emotional support at this time is important. Partners can share the highs and the lows with each other. As often as you can, take a few moments to talk as a couple and as new parents. Be open about how you are feeling – the joys and the fears and encourage him to do the same and listen to how your partner is feeling without judgement. Encourage self-care activities and involvement in baby care activities such as baths and bedtime routines. Family member can provide practical assistance with baby care, household tasks, cooking healthy meals and running errands to alleviate the daily stresses.
Meet the expert Dr. Deborah Da Costa:
Deborah Da Costa is a psychologist specializing in stress-management and coping with chronic illnesses. She is also a Medical Scientist at the Division of Clinical Epidemiology at the McGill University Health Centre and an Associate Professor in the Department of Medicine at McGill University. Her research is primarily focused on tailoring and evaluating the efficacy of non-medical interventions (e.g. exercise programs, stress-management) to improve the physical and mental well-being of patients living with chronic illnesses. Dr. Da Costa received her Ph.D. in Psychology from Concordia University and completed her post-doctoral training at McGill University. She currently holds a career award from les Fonds de la Recherche en santé.
References
Salk RH, Hyde JS, Abramson LY. Gender differences in depression in representative national samples: Meta-analyses of diagnoses and symptoms. Psychol Bull. 2017 Aug;143(8):783-822. doi: 10.1037/bul0000102. Epub 2017 Apr 27. PMID: 28447828; PMCID: PMC5532074.
Shi P, Yang A, Zhao Q, Chen Z, Ren X, Dai Q. A Hypothesis of Gender Differences in Self-Reporting Symptom of Depression: Implications to Solve Under-Diagnosis and Under-Treatment of Depression in Males. Front Psychiatry. 2021 Oct 25;12:589687. doi: 10.3389/fpsyt.2021.589687. PMID: 34759845; PMCID: PMC8572815.
Ogrodniczuk J, Oliffe J, Beharry J. HeadsUpGuys: Canadian online resource for men with depression. Can Fam Physician. 2018 Feb;64(2):93-94. PMID: 29449231; PMCID: PMC5964376.
https://www.webmd.com/depression/untreated-depression-effects
