Most parents today know the importance of teaching kids emotion regulation. We tell them to name their feelings, use their words, and practice calming strategies like deep breaths. And while these are powerful tools, there’s one missing factor that almost everyone overlooks: the body.
When I spoke with pediatric occupational therapist and author of A Kids Book about Neurodiversity, Laura Petix, on The Reflective Parenting Podcast, she explained it this way: “Behaviors are reflections of the nervous system, not the problem itself.” Kids don’t melt down, shut down, or lash out just because they “don’t know better.” These behaviors are their nervous system communicating that it’s overwhelmed or under-stimulated.
The truth is that emotions don’t just live in our minds, they live in our bodies. And learning to tune into these signals through a skill called interoception is the foundation for real emotional regulation.
What Is Interoception?
Interoception is the sense that helps us notice and interpret what’s happening inside our body. It’s sometimes called the “eighth sense.” While sight and hearing tell us about the outside world, interoception tells us about our inner world.
For example:
- A racing heart might signal fear or excitement.
- A tight stomach might mean worry.
- Heavy shoulders might reflect stress.
- Hunger or thirst cues come from the same system.
For neurodivergent children, especially those with ADHD or autism these signals can be harder to read, overwhelming, or even absent. And for many parents, especially those juggling stress or their own ADHD, interoception is a skill that has never been taught.
Why Naming Emotions Isn’t Enough
Parents often focus on teaching kids emotion regulation by helping them label feelings: “You’re sad,” “You’re angry,” “You’re frustrated.” While this is valuable, it’s incomplete.
Why? Because emotions start in the body. If children don’t learn to notice what emotions feel like physically, the words remain abstract. Imagine trying to regulate anxiety without realizing that your racing heart and sweaty palms are its early warning signals. By the time you name the feeling, it’s already too late.
Laura emphasized this in our conversation: when parents learn to notice their own body cues and say them out loud “My chest feels tight, I think I’m overwhelmed” it not only supports their regulation, it models for kids that everyone’s nervous system needs attention.
What the Research Shows
Two recent studies shed light on why interoception matters so much not just for kids, but for parents too.
Interoception and Emotion Regulation (Zamariola et al., 2019)
This study compared people with low, medium, and high interoception skills. They found:
- Low interoception was linked to difficulty identifying emotions, a lack of words to describe feelings, and reliance on less healthy coping strategies like suppression, avoidance, rumination, or procrastination.
- High interoception was linked to greater confidence in managing emotions, and people reported using more adaptive strategies like exercise, therapy, yoga, talking with loved ones, and reframing their thoughts.
- Importantly, the study showed that interoception is not just about “noticing feelings.” It’s about connecting body sensations with emotions and then choosing healthier ways to respond.
This matters for parents because if we don’t notice our own body signals, we’re more likely to snap, suppress, or ignore emotions and our kids learn from watching us.
Building Interoception Through Training (Smith et al., 2023)
A second study tested an online emotional skills training program with over 400 adults. The program lasted about 10–12 hours and included interactive lessons and practice tools.
Here’s how participants learned interoception:
- They were guided to map sensations on their body during emotional experiences (for example, marking where anxiety feels tight or where joy feels light).
- They connected these body sensations with the situation, their thoughts, and their actions.
- They tracked emotions over time using tools with detailed feeling words.
- Finally, they reflected on patterns, noticing how body signals linked to behaviors.
The results were clear: participants improved in emotional awareness, mindfulness, interoception, and regulation. Even six months later, during the stress of COVID-19, those who completed the training maintained their skills, while the control group worsened.
This shows us that interoception is not fixed. It’s a skill we can practice, and one that makes a lasting difference.
Need support practicing this new skill? Join our evidence-based program, Reflective Parenting and purchase our course, join our membership or get 1:1 support with our founder, mom of 3 and neuroscientist, Cindy Hovington. Learn more here.
How Parents Can Practice Interoception
Here are three steps you can start with, inspired by the research and Laura’s advice:
- Track – Each day, notice one body signal (e.g., “My shoulders feel heavy,” “My chest feels tight”). Write it down.
- Link – Connect that signal to an emotion and situation: “My shoulders felt heavy after work because I was stressed.”
- Respond – Choose one regulation tool: stretch, step outside, lower the noise in the house, or say out loud, “I feel tense, I need a break.”
Practicing this yourself makes it easier to guide your child. You can invite them to do it too — start simple by asking, “Where in your body do you feel this?” and offer them words if they don’t know.
Protecting Your Nervous System
Laura shared that she actively “protects her nervous system.” For her, that means leaving a party early to get enough sleep. For you, it might be reducing background noise, saying no to an extra commitment, or making time for a walk.
Reflection question for this week: How can I better protect my nervous system?
When you protect yourself, you not only feel calmer, you also model for your child how to honour their own body signals. That’s one of the most powerful ways of teaching kids emotion regulation.
Final Takeaway
Naming emotions is important, but it’s only the surface. True regulation begins deeper, in the body. By strengthening our interoception, we not only manage our own stress better — we give our children the blueprint for recognizing and regulating their emotions, too.
Supporting the nervous system is not an add-on to parenting. It’s the missing factor that makes all the other strategies work.
